I Don't Do Too Well On My Own [Lily]

[lisette a. vargas]

As soon as Lisette woke up there was only one place that she wanted to return to. It had been her only solace in her first year. She had been a terribly shy little thing, and had hidden behind the stacks of books the Hogwarts Library had to offer. Within these pages, magic came to life (literally). The books would read aloud to her, or demonstrate the many subjects she read about. As she grew, the library remained the only constant in her life. Friends came and left, boyfriends broke her heart, but the library never changed. The couches by the windows remained in their place, the portraits would never have anything new added to them. The only difference was that occasionally, the book stacks grew, but she didn't mind that.

During her free period, she wandered over to the Library and took a seat by one of the larger windows that overlooked the Lake. She spotted familiar faces down there, trying to feed the Squid, or lazing underneath the oak's shade. The library seemed empty, with the exception of a few students who were getting a head start on their homework. She figured it would be best to use her time wisely, but she had many thoughts to sort out.

She hadn't met with many friends yet, only the Ravenclaws. She figured she would catch up with them during Lunch. She settled into the couch, slouching and allowing herself to rest her legs upon her bag. She thought about sleeping, but knew she'd have one of Madam Pince's dreadful lectures if she did. Just then, she heard footsteps coming her way.

A smile graced her face at the sight of a familiar red head. "Lily!" She rejoiced, and clamped a hand over her mouth when she realized how loud her exclamation had been. "How are you?" She whispered, standing up and taking a step forward to hug her friend.

[lily evans]

It was only four days into the school year and already Lily could tell that her Head Girl duties were going to be significantly more time consuming then Prefect duties. Of course, the Gryffindor had already known that. Knowing what was coming up and having it actually happen were two very different things. She hadn’t predicted that Potter would be chosen as Head Boy either which she suspected would make her job take up even more time to cover some of his duties. How in Merlin’s name he had managed to swing that she still wasn’t sure, but she wasn’t going to dwell on that right now. She was in far too good a mood. She wasn’t complaining of course about the extra work. She was just thrilled she had gotten the job. However, she knew that she’d have a lot less time to spend in her favorite room in the castle, at least just for pleasure, so while she still had some free time, she decided that she would spend a few hours in the library.

She walked in the room and waved at Madame Pince before heading to the back of the room to claim her favorite couch. However a familiar face was occupying her couch. That was okay though, because Lily was fond of said face and she wanted to talk to her anyways. “Hi Lisette,” she said with a grin in a much quieter tone. Thankfully Madame Pince was not nearby to scold the Ravenclaw. Lily hugged her back when Lisette stood up to give her a hug. Then Lily set her bag down on the floor next the couch and sat down in the spot next to where Lisette had been. “So,” she said turning to look at her favorite Ravenclaw, “how was your summer dear? Tell me everything.” Lily’s tone was very genuine and she really wanted to know how Lisette was doing. She knew this was the girl’s first summer without her parents which must have been very hard on her. Lily didn’t want to bring it up right away though. She would though if she thought Lisette’s response sounded like she needed it.

[lisette a. vargas]

"You've grown," Lisette stated with a giggle after pulling back from the hug. "It seems I've stopped growing - not even a centimeter."

She sat down, and gathered her things closer to her, so it wouldn't bother Lily. She smiled and removed the wrinkles from her robes while listening to Lily. The question was familiar, and the familiar words caught in her throat, waiting for Lisette's throat to open. She saw the look in Lily's eyes and forced them down.

Her eyes lowered, and the sixth year chose to stare at her knees. "Hard," she stated honestly. "I lived with the Victorias for a few months before I finally got out of there. It was so...noisy. I chose flat 512 over the Leaky Cauldron, and that was alright, I suppose."

She made a face, causing her nose to wrinkle. "But enough about me, how are you?" She noticed the shiny badge pinned to her robes for the first time and grinned. "How's Potter doing as Head Boy?"

[lily evans]

Lily laughed when Lisette told her she had grown. Compared to the tiny Ravenclaw Lily was rather tall. “Just in the legs, unfortunately,” she said chuckling. “The skirts are looking even shorter unfortunately.” She grinned at Lisette. “I’m glad you’re done growing. You look so adorable,” she teased.

At least Lisette was being honest. Lily could tell the question was hard for her and if she had told Lily her summer was fantastic, she would have called the Ravenclaw out right there. She raised her eyebrows when Lisette said she had left the Victorias. “Mrs. Victoria was okay with that?” she asked curiously. Lily didn’t know any of the Victorias personally, but Lisette had told her last year that Mr. and Mrs. Victoria had become her legal guardians after her mother and step-father had died last year. She knew the couple had quite a few children though, so she could understand the loud part. “So you were completely alone? I would think that would be worse than the noise. I wish you had owled me. You could have stayed with me. My mother wouldn’t have minded.”

Lily groaned and leaned back holding her hand to her head in frustration. “I still can’t believe Dumbledore chose him. We patrolled together last night. It was awful. It was the late shift and we only ran into a Hufflepuff girl snogging her Ravenclaw boyfriend so he spent the rest of the time asking me stupid questions about myself and rambling on about his summer. We have our first Heads meeting today to prepare for the prefect meeting tomorrow, so we’ll see how he’s doing then.”

[lisette a. vargas]

Lisette nodded at Lily's statement about the skirts. She, too, felt as though the skirts were shorter. Not that she minded completely. She had great legs and didn't mind showing them off some. "They get shorter each year," Lisette muttered, extending her leg to the side to compare how shorter they got. "I remember last year it was about here," She made a cut-off motion above her knee. "Ha. Ha." Lisette laughed dryly. 'Adorable' was a term she tried to avoid. Adorable referred to children, not young grown women.

Lisette bit her lip. "To be honest, she wasn't, but I had had enough. I wasn't going to stay in that household another minute." Lisette paused, "I suppose it was selfish of me." She sighed and stared at her folded hand on her lap. Thinking Lily might notice, she moved her right arm and positioned it so that she could rest her cheek on her hand.

"Mr. Victoria was alright with it," she continued. "He's really sweet. He helped me with the flat and moving in. He checked up on me, too - so I wasn't terribly alone all the time." She blinked, surprised with what she was hearing. The truth was, she had been alone. Mr. Victoria had only check in on her twice over the summer, though he did write weekly. She didn't let Lily notice though. "I guess I should have sent an owl, but oh well. I did plenty of shopping. Kept myself busy." She shrugged.

At the mention of James, she smiled. "Dumbledore knows what he's doing." She reminded her, "Besides, you never know. I mean, if he can convince Dumbledore he's good enough for Head Boy, then he might as well be worth a second chance." She only knew James well enough to know he was friendly. Sure, he'd been something in the past, but they were all dunderheads at one point or another. "Oh, right!" Lisette smacked her head. "I had forgotten about it. What time?"

[lily evans]

Lily smiled sadly at the Ravenclaw. “It’s okay. You get to be a little selfish Dear,” she said placing a hand on Lisette’s arm in a comforting-motherly sort of way. “A sad, terrible thing happened to you,” she told her. “You’re allowed to be sad and mourn for them. As long as you don’t mourn forever Dear. They would want you to keep on living and be happy.”

Lily couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose her own parents. It was one of her worst fears too. Lily was muggleborn, and she had made a few enemies over the years. “I’m sure she’s just worried about you. She was close with your mother wasn’t she? I’m glad Mr. Victoria was supportive though and that he visited you. I would have been so lonely. Although it might be nice to have a few weeks to catch up on reading,” she said trying to lighten up the mood a little bit.

Lily was still concerned about Lisette, but she could tell the Ravenclaw needed a break. Lily would keep an eye on her though. Perhaps she’d rearrange the prefect schedule so the two could patrol together. Besides, then wouldn’t have to patrol with Potter. It was the perfect excuse.

Lily sighed heavily and leaned back into the couch. “I know. I mean, I know that I should know that. I keep trying to tell myself that Professor Dumbledore knows what he’s doing.” She paused again and leaned forward making some sort of exasperated noise. “He’s Potter though. He spends his free time playing stupid pranks, tormenting others, and showing off with that stupid snitch. Why the hell would he be chosen as Head Boy?” She was working herself up into that irritated, slightly angry mood that she did every time she thought too hard about Potter. “Tomorrow, 3:30,” she told Lisette the irritation still present in her tone. Damn Potter.

[lisette a. vargas]

When Lily's hand came in contact with her arm, Lisette felt a sudden wave of familiarity. She could almost hear the oh-so-familiar words of "I'm sorry," that she had heard at the funeral. Her eyes narrowed in reflex, and darkened at once. But Lily's tone was more kind, more friendly and sincere. Lisette didn't dare look Lily in the eye, so she kept her gaze on her folded hands in lap, noticing how long her nails were getting. The girl knew she couldn't mourn forever, but right now it seemed like it was all she could do. She knew how awkward it was for others. What did one say to a girl who's lost her parents? She admired the way her friends stood by her, but then again, what did others know about loosing people? It was a selfish thought, but really?

It seemed it was all a pattern in her life. She lost both sets of grandparents before she was even born, she lost her father before she could even learn how hold a wand or ride a broom and now she had lost her mother; her best friend and her stepfather; the only male she could count on (besides Matt) who would be completely honest with her. Who else was she going to lose? She knew about the War, and that the odds were against them. She'd most likely lose more people; more friends.

For a moment, she wanted to snap at Lily and ask 'how do you know what they would want?' but the girl held her tongue and nodded meekly. She couldn't help the tears from brimming her eyes, but she forced down the sob in her throat and brushed them away quickly. "Sorry," she apologized, using her robe sleeve to brush away the tears before they fell. "It's still hard."

Lisette blinked twice before answering Lily's question. "Yes," she answered. "Mrs. Victoria was the first friend my mother made when she came to England. I've lived next door to them my whole life, it seems. And yes," she managed a little laugh, "I did catch up on reading. Flourish & Blotts has an excellent supply of books." She recalled two fantasy novels she had picked up, but hadn't bothered to finish reading. If she was correct, they were at the bottom of her trunk. She had chosen a much more practical road and had gotten ahead on her reading for her Transfiguration and Ancient Runes classes.

When the topic switched to Potter, Lisette smiled at Lily's reaction, throughly amused. She nodded, for Lily was right, but she couldn't help but remember a time or two when she had seen James acting civil towards others. Perhaps Lily was simply seeing what she wanted to see? After all, Potter had caught Dumbledore's eye, surely Dumbledore saw something different in him. "He's gotten a bit better," Lisette offered in his defense. "I mean, he still needs to work on that ego of his, but he's not tormenting others as much. At least from what I can see."

Lisette frowned slightly at Lily's tone, but recalled that she should have known better than to bring up Potter. He really did bother the Gryffindor a lot in their earlier years. "But has he been just as annoying towards you?" She heard herself asking. "I mean, he's not asking you out every five minutes, is he?"

[word count: 565]

[lily evans]

Oh no, now Lisette was crying. Maybe she should have dropped the subject. Lily was worried she had only made the whole thing worse by talking about it. People dealt with grief in their own way, and how could she imagine how Lisette possibly felt? Lily only wanted to help. She really hoped she didn’t have to deal with the pain Lisette was going through for a very long time. Maybe what Lisette needed was to cry. Lily knew from experience that sometimes the only thing that could make a situation better was to just cry about it. “Oh Liz,” she said hugging the Ravenclaw again. “I’m sorry.” Really there wasn’t anything else she could say to make it better. “You can cry if you want. Maybe it will help.”

Lily nodded when Lisette talked about Mrs. Victoria and books. “I’m sure that was nice for your mother. It must have been hard to move to a new country where she didn’t know anyone. Especially with a baby. I know my grandmother helped out with Petunia a lot when she was born, before she got sick that is.” Lily was watching Lisette carefully. There was something off about Lisette’s answers. She was putting on a very good show, but what she was saying only sounded like half-truths. Lisette was the suffer in silence type and Lily was really worried about the Ravenclaw.

Now Lisette was defending him. Stupid Potter. Only the things Lisette was saying made sense and that messed with Lily’s foundation for which she built her very strong dislike for Potter on. “I suppose that’s true. I mean, he has cut back on the bullying I suppose, and he’s only asked me out a few times this year instead of the usual 15 times a day.” She paused contemplating the idea that maybe Potter wasn’t really all that bad. She had heard that he had saved Sev the year before when Black had thoughtlessly tried to play a very dangerous prank. She shook her head, not disagreeing with anything Lisette said, but forcing the thoughts out of her head. “That doesn’t change everything he’s done in the past though. He has more detentions than anyone in the history of Hogwarts. That doesn’t really scream Head Boy material to me,” she huffed and leaned back into the couch. Stupid Potter.

[Sorry this took so long!]